The politician at the heart of the Westminster honeytrap scandal has admitted he considered taking his own life.
Former MP William Wragg said he felt “such guilt and horror” after passing colleagues' phone numbers to a man who contacted him on the dating app Grindr.
Mr Wragg, 36, had also sent him nude pictures of himself.
The police launched a probe into the scandal after 20 people, including other MPs, journalists and members of staff were targeted by someone posing as “Charlie” and “Abi”.
The former Conservative MP told The Sunday Times: “The night after the story was published, I didn't get any sleep.
“I felt awful. Just an intense guilt, but again, not knowing what had actually happened, or why, or what the motive was behind what this person had done. And I felt such guilt and horror.
“It got to about 4.30am and I was having very intrusive thoughts. It wasn't just like feeling down. It was worse than I've ever felt, to the extent that I was thinking of the methods I could use to end it all.
“I thought: 'This is bad.' But there was just about enough in me that said: 'Right, go to hospital,' and I'm so glad I did, because that's when I started getting the help that I needed.”
In his first interview about the scandal, Mr Wragg said he had apologized to everyone whose numbers he gave out.
The former MP, who has previously spoken out about suffering with anxiety and depression, said he sent “Charlie” explicit images of himself within hours of being contacted on the dating app Grindr.
The honeytrapper claimed he was in his mid-20s and worked for a cancer charity.
He said: “He sounded quite knowledgeable about the building, the types of events that he, working in the charity sector, would be involved with. It chimed completely with my experience. He knew the lingo of the place and how it worked.”
Mr Wragg said of sending explicit images: “Look, there's no doubt, this isn't like arranging tea and cake at the vicarage. But it is quite usual and nothing that I would have batted an eyelid at.
“Of course, for other people there might be a sense of squeamishness and pearl-clutching, but that's for them. There was nothing about it that led to any sense of alarm for me.”
A few days later, and after having been stood up on an in-person date with “Charlie”, Mr Wragg faced demands for colleagues' numbers, at which point he said he felt “compromised” and “threatened”.
Describing the sickening moment, Mr Wragg said: “He gave me several names and said: 'You've got two minutes to give me their numbers.' I said: 'Are you joking?' You know? 'You're joking, aren't you?' 'No, I'm not joking.'”
And the honeytrapper then demanded that the former Conservative MP tell his colleagues that he used to work for him.
“I asked him: 'Why are you doing this? Will you stop doing this?' 'No, no, no, it's fine' [he told me]. And this is really why I felt so bad about things,” Mr Wragg said.
“I found myself lying for him and saying that he did [previously work for me]even though I did not know what his motive was.”
He added: “I came home one evening and I just burst into tears and was shouting and swearing. I didn't feel in control of myself. I drank heavily because — and I almost can't articulate this clearly enough — of an almost loss of agency. I bottled everything up. I didn't say a word to anybody.
“What has taken me time… to realize was actually how strangely I was attached to this person already, and the sense that feelings and emotions were involved.
“I remember feeling a certain tightness in my chest about it, but nevertheless doing it.”
Mr Wragg admitted the scandal “doesn't seem real”, adding that it's almost like feeling a sense of detachment.
He said: “The only explanation I can give is just the power of that attraction … and not wanting to lose that. It might sound pathetic, but it really is [was] what drove me.”
The former Tory MP insisted his experience “serves as a reminder about the need for vigilance” online, with similar crimes he believes becoming more common with the prevalence of deepfakes and AI.
“If you do find yourself getting into a situation, don't feel ashamed about alerting people to it, or speaking to the authorities, or your friends and family. You shouldn't get to such a state whereby you're in a really bad way. It's not worth that.”
A man in his 20s has been arrested on suspicion of harassment and offenses under the Online Safety Act. The Labor Party member has had his membership suspended.
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